Eventually I saw them ahead, the calf now sitting down again. This time I felt it was different. I knew the calf couldn’t go any further, and I thin... the mother sensed that, too. She stood sentinel, holding me at bay, for much of the morning. Around lunchtime, she turned and trotted away, abandoning the calf! I moved in to finish it with my small knife.I had chased them many miles down the valley and I needed to forage for berries to sustain me while I carried the calf homewards on a hastily. There were circles of cones set up all around the field, and we had to work crossing passes in a star pattern among our circle of five. At the same time, we were to move counter-clockwise around the cones. The coaches were watching to see how we used our feet, both to move laterally and to trap and pass the ball. It was a fairly easy exercise for my buddies and me, but there were some kids who struggled. I could see, out of the corner of my eye, the coaches marking down comments on their. Now? The work was much the same, still satisfying, but on a Venn diagram, the working conditions were midway between circles labeled ‘frustrating’, ‘slave labor’ and ‘toxic’, and rapidly getting worse. Back then when I started out, you saw the managers around the floor, senior engineers who were approachable and more than willing to share their experience. Now? Those guys were long gone; I’d be hard pressed to recognize most of the inhabitants of the top floor, even with their smug faces posted. I live all alone and every year on Thanksgiving Day I work at a homeless shelter until I’m about ready to drop from exhaustion, then as I’m leaving the facility I pick one of the men, usually a younger type and invite him home. I hate Thanksgiving so much that fucking the brains out of some strange grubby homeless guy just seems right to me. My psychologist says that I have a ‘self-loathing’ issue and that may be so, but I don’t really care what he says. It fills a deep down need in me. I.
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